The Day My Teeth Fell Out In Georgia!

August 6th, 1994...Mike Sommer got us tickets to a Wednesday practice round for the Masters Golf Tournament in Augusta Georgia. We had a great time walking around gasping at the beauty of the place. Practice rounds can be both boring (because some golfers take it very seriously) and great fun (watching Phil Mickelson and John Daly try to skip balls off the lake on to the par 3 16th hole). Late in that morning we stumbled upon Davis Love III, Brad Faxon, and Greg "the Shark" Norman on the par 3...4th hole. By some luck I found myself right behind them with only the rope and 6 feet of grass between me and the golfers. When Mike saw what a great position I was in he handed me his camera and asked me to take pictures as they hit. I had just bought myself a large cup of liquid refreshment (Coke) and had no place to set it since the area was extremely crowded. So I just took a big bite on the top lip of the cup and proceeded to try and take the pictures. So as Greg Norman is about ready to hit disaster struck. My plan for taking the picture with a large cup of coke in my mouth would have been perfect it if I didn't had false teeth. So just as I'm about to take the picture... out of my mouth came my teeth still attached to the cup of coke. The teeth and coke fell and landed on the fanny pack I was wearing around my waste, the coke spilled and splashed over everything and everybody. The crowd and the golfers saw everything and tried not to laugh, but seeing a fat guy with coke and teeth and teeth attached on a fanny pack they couldn't help but break out laughing. Even Greg Norman thought it was hilarious and had to step away from hitting his tee shot until he got control of himself. When he had finished laughing at me he looked at the hole and the club he was going to hit and changed clubs and then hit it right next to the hole. He then thanked me for the entertainment and the club change (because he won a rather large wager the players had on this hole), but I couldn't reply because I was still trying to put my teeth back in my mouth. And since that day I call this experience, "The Day My Teeth Fell Out In Georgia."

You can't fool them...

I tried for years to convince our children..

that I was "The Boss"

But they would alway say, "Ya Dad...where's Mom?

Now we have grandchildren and again I have tried to convince them that I am
"The Boss"

They just say, "Wrong again Pa...Where's Grandma"

I couldn't figure out what I was doing wrong. I should be able to convince little children that I am "The Boss" 

Then I found this quote and it made me feel a little better.

"You can't fool them... cause they're not paying any attention." 

It's not a race...unless I win!

Bentley has always been very competitive. When he was 3 years old we would race and he always beat me. But one time I made a big mistake and won the race. He just looked at me jumping around celebrating my victory and he said, "Pa, it's not a race...unless I win!"  Lesson learned.

Joyce kissed me

Say I'm weary

Say I'm sad

Say that health and wealth

Have missed me.

Say I'm growing old

But add

Joyce kissed me!

Happy Birthday Sweets!



What was Joyce thinking?

The story has been told many times of how 5 days after we were married Joyce's mother "Lorna" came for a visit and stayed for 27 years. As in any family situation there were ups and downs, but it really was a blessing to have her with us. She loved sitting in the kitchen on the church bench where she could look out the big kitchen window to make sure the neighborhood was safe and still have a clear view of what was happening in the house. She had three favorite sayings she would always say to me. As I would walk through the kitchen she would say, "Homely! take out the garbage! Then I would say, "I can't right now... it is snowing." Then she would hit me with, "you are neither sugar or salt, you won't melt." Then when my kids would do something that would drive me crazy she would say, "what comes around goes around." And sometimes after we had had a conversation I could hear her mutter as she walked away, "What was Joyce thinking?"

Saving Spencer?

In February of 1997 I took Spencer with me on a business trip to Florida and Georgia. We were able to watch a spring training baseball game in Lakeland Florida and a Magic basketball game in Orlando.

Then we headed to southern Georgia where I had an appointment with the buyer for "J.H. Harvey" food stores on thursday morning. We got into town early in the afternoon the day before the appointment so I took Spencer over to the local golf course. He didn't play, but he enjoyed riding in the golf cart. But he soon got bored with that and started pleading to get out of the cart and explore the hills and lakes. I told him that wasn't a good idea because there were all kinds of hazards, the least of which where poisonous coral and water moccasin snakes as well as alligators. But as I pulled up to the 6th tee which was between two large hills I finally couldn't take it any longer and said he could get out of the cart if he stayed close and most important don't run. As I started to walk to the tee he jumped out of the cart and immediatley started running over the hill toward what I didn't know. Then I heard a big splash and figured he had fallen into some lake on the other side of the hill and was being eaten alive by some swamp animal. So I took off running and when I got to the top of the hill I was relieved to see Spencer dry, but something was wrong...he stood frozen with his arms outstretched, his face pale and his eyes as big as I've ever seen them. Then I looked in the direction he was staring and I saw what was causing his terror...swimming away was a very large alligator. Spencer had come over the hill running and surprised the gator causing him to dive in the lake. Luckily he was surprised and not hungry.

Now in between the alligator story and the next the next story I saved him several times but I was mainly saving him from his Mother. When we were at basketball games and she saw girls getting too familiar with him she would take off to the other side of the building to get those girls away from her son.  Luckily he always was a safe distance from us so I could signal...so he could hide before his Mother got there to pull the girls hair out.

When we got Spencer's itinerary for his flight home from his mission in Italy I noticed the connection for his flight into Salt Lake City and out to Idaho Falls was too close and I was sure he would miss it. And if he missed it... I would be the first casulty of his Mother's frustration if she had to wait one extra day to see her son. So I arranged a business trip so I would have the same connecting flight from Salt Lake City to Idaho Falls. It turned out a good thing that I did, because as I feared his flight into Salt Lake City was a few minutes late and they were boarding the Idaho Falls flight and weren't going to wait. I pleaded with them and pointed out they were scheduled to be at the gate in 10 minutes and if they left without him and I arrived in Idaho Falls alone my wife would be a widow. But they didn't care and told me to board the plane because they were ready to depart. I told them I wasn't getting on the plane without my son. Now the ball was in their court because if they left me behind they would first have to get my luggage off the plane because if I didn't go the law said my luggage couldn't go either for safety reasons. So rather that unpack all the luggage trying to find mine they decided waiting for him would be quicker. And luckily he showed up in 5 minutes and we were on our way. And we both arrived in Idaho Falls to the open arms of the Mother.

In the spring of 2010 I woke up on a Saturday morning at 2:30 a.m. with a feeling that one of my sons was in danger. Logically it had to be Greg who was in Portugal where it was 9:30 a.m. Just then Joyce woke up and now I was sure Greg was in some kind of trouble in Portugal so I dropped to my knees and asked Heavenly Father to bless and protect Greg from what ever danger he was in. Then when I emailed him the next day I asked if he was okay and what danger was he in at 9:30 a.m. saturday morning. He wrote back that 9:30 he and his companion were having study class and they were in no danger. I was relieved but concerned because I felt sure that he was in danger. Later that day Spencer called and I told him about the feeling I had and the prayer to Heavenly Father to protect Greg. Spencer then asked what time I got this feeling and I told him 2:30 mountain time. He then said, "that would be 4:30 a.m.Buffalo time right?" I said "yes,"and then he said at 4:30 a.m. that morning their dog Brady woke he and Brianna up to find their bedroom filling with smoke from a fire in their apartment complex, he was the son in peril." Then he added, "RIGHT PRAYER DAD, JUST WRONG SON!"

It's a good thing someone knew who was in trouble.

Memories!

In all started in 1985 when Joyce and I had a picture taken in Jackson Hole Wyoming.

I wanted to be a gambler and Joyce told the photographer she wanted to be a SLUT. The photographer said she didn't care what Joyce did on her own time, but they only had saloon lady costumes.

It was so much fun we brought the kids back as often as we could and they seemed to enjoy it.

1985

1985

1987

1988

1989

1993

1995

1997

Thanks for family, photography, and MEMORIES.

Mission Impossible




Elder G. Larry Haws in Crestview Florida December 1966

 

It’s June in Southern California, “Beautiful Downtown Burbank” to be exact. I’m going to be 19 in a week and looking forward to a summer of going to the beach and partying. All my buddies are gone on their missions except for Mike Bivins who leaves in a week. I’m not able to go right now because they have a new rule because of the Viet Nam War that only two missionaries can go from each ward per year. We have two going next week from our ward so it isn’t looking good for me. To be honest I’m not to broken hearted about it because the beach is looking good and life is good. Saturday night I had a date with Jennifer Barlow and early Sunday morning as I’m leaving to go home she asks me why I’m not going on a mission. She’s a convert to the Church and doesn’t realize the restrictions put on the wards. But she asks me “if the Bishop asked you would you go?” And I said, “Sure”. Little did I know that after I drove away she called and woke up Bishop Rickard and told him I was ready to go on my mission.  Bishop Rickard was a very patient man with me. We would “borrow“empty beer kegs from the local beer distributors and put them on his roof late at night. We thought we were really embarrassing him. Later I found out he would simply take them down and return them to the distributor and get a $10 return fee.  When I got to priesthood meeting that morning Bishop Rickard asked me to come to his office where he asked me if I was ready to go on my mission. I asked about the limit and he said he might be able to find a slot not used by another ward. I said I would be glad to go but couldn’t possibly leave until October because of finances (and the beach). He said that would be fine. After my interview I should have guessed something was up when he said why don’t I go right over to the Stake Presidents office and get that interview out of the way. So I went over and completed the interview without thinking much about it even when the Stake President said we had a high councilman who was a doctor and he could give me a physical right away. Back then the physicals weren’t as involved as they are now and it took just a minute and I was done. I didn’t think anymore about the events of the day before because it was just the first part of June and I wasn’t going anywhere until at least October. Wednesday at the Beach I was teasing Mike Bivins that in a little over a week he would be in the MTC in Salt Lake and I would be laying here on the beach in southern California. I was feeling pretty good. I went to bed that night not knowing that my world was about to get turned upside down. The next morning at 7:00 a.m. I answered the doorbell and there stood the mailman. He asked if I was Garth Larry Haws because he had a “Special delivery” letter for me. When I opened it said I had been called to the serve in the Florida Mission which was great and I thought it should be nice in Florida in October, but then I continued reading and it said I would report to the MTC on Monday June 20th (the same day as Mike). Panic! Sick! Scared! I hadn’t even told my Dad (who was very inactive) I had been interviewed because I wasn’t going anywhere until October. It was a long day waiting for my father to get home to break the news that I needed $125 on Sunday and $125 a month for the next two years. To my surprise he took it well until he realized he couldn’t talk me into joining the Air Force.  But he agreed and we went down on Saturday and got some of the clothes needed. We only were able to get one suit a dark green Penney’s machine wash and wear special.

                     Mom & Debbie                                     Jennifer Barlow     
 Julie Ann Campbell

     

 Sister Rickard...Aunts Margaret & Nola                               Dad.               





 After my farewell on Sunday night the 19th Mike and I flew to Salt Lake City and checked into Covey’s motel (now known as “Little America” for the night and then we would walk to the MTC in time for the 1:00 check in. They first clue that I didn’t have a clue about going on a mission was that I had packed a swimming suit to take on a mission. Mike and I spent that morning swimming in the motel pool before getting dressed to go to the MTC. Now comes the second clue…when I walked into the MTC I was wearing a white T-shirt, Levi’s and black converse tennis shoes (no one from my family had gone on a mission so I didn’t have a clue you were supposed dress up). Of course when I walked in dressed like that the room went silent and I was able to walk right up and get my room assignment without waiting. They had a sign saying all new missionaries had to memorize D&C 4 before 6:00 that evening. So I put my suitcases in my room and went down to a nearby store and bought a liter of Pepsi and some donuts and sat on the front steps of the MTC and started memorizing. Because of the short notice I wasn’t able to go through the Temple so I was the only Elder in the MTC wearing “Jockey Shorts” and didn’t have a clue what this week was all about. To me the first couple of days seemed like I was sitting through 12 hour “high council” sacrament meetings and I wasn’t ready for that, I was supposed to be at the Beach, not sitting with all these strait arrows in a never ending sacrament meeting. There were a few other problems like when I was coming down the stairs singing my own version of “Give me some men who are stout hearted men” mine had the same tune but the words referred to girls in bikini’s but I never got a chance to finish it because I felt a hand on my shoulder and turned and saw our MTC mission president Brother Richards pulling me into the nearest empty room. He was a very nice and patient man and explained to me that he wasn’t going to send me home because that would make me too happy. Way back then you weren’t set apart before you left home by the Stake President; you were set apart by a General Authority on Thursday morning. I was assigned with 4 other Elders and their families (I didn’t have any family there so Mike Bivins went with me) to go into Ezra Taft Benson’s office.





Now I didn’t have a clue who he was, let alone an Apostle, but I sat and was on my best behavior as he called up each Elder, asked them their name and proceeded to set them apart. I was the last one called up and I sat on the chair, Elder Benson then asked my name and I told him and he put his hands on my head and ……………….nothing. He didn’t say anything for a very long time. Then he took his hands off my head and walked around me sitting in the chair and just stood in front of me and looked into my eyes. He said nothing for the longest time (while my whole life passed in front of my eyes). After a few moments he walked around me put his hands back on my head and proceeded to set me apart and tell me everything about my life, my family, everything. He even mentioned that I had an attitude that I was going to go on a mission but I wasn’t going to change and come home like those “holier than thou” returned missionaries from our Stake. He blessed me that my attitude would change I would be an instrument for much good and my mission would be one of much success and the Lord would reap many great things from my labors. I was amazed, how could he know about all that stuff about my family and my attitudes. My testimony was starting to grow. I stayed out of trouble the next couple of days except for the day I was late to the auditorium for the big fireside because Sister Richards had stopped me to ask how I felt because she had noticed this terrible cough I had. When I sat down the Elders on either side of me said they had called my name to give the opening prayer. I laughed and told them that I wasn’t going to fall for that trick. But when no one got up to pray I saw President Richards looking at me and signaling an Elder on the front row to say the prayer. But other than that and falling through a man hole in my only suit I finished the week pretty good. Now Monday morning we boarded the train that would take us to Chicago where we would catch a plane to Orlando Florida. About this time reality was starting to set in and by evening I was sitting in the observation car with Elder Palmer trying to think of what disease we could get that wasn’t too painful, but still allow us to be sent home with a medical release. We didn’t come up with anything so we decided to stick it

out                                                                 

My first companion Elder Keith Kammerman

 I was blessed with a wonderful Mission President Glen L Rudd who was patient with me as I learned the things I should have known well before entering the MTC and Mission field. The last weekend of my mission I was asked by President Rudd to conduct a tri zone conference (1/2 the mission). As I was closing the last session and announcing the closing song and prayer I again felt that hand on my shoulder and this time it was President Rudd. He asked if he could say something quick and being the great guy I’m am I let him. He simply said, “You all know that Elder Haws is going home this week, I don’t want you to worry about him adjusting when he gets home……because he never adjusted while he was here.”  He was probably right but I appreciate all he did for me in helping a very unprepared missionary learn and grow and hopefully be a positive influence on the people of Florida.





  

I'm starting to like you

As I walked down the hall, there blocking my path was Greg who was almost 4 years old. He was playing with his action figures and didn't seem to notice me as I stepped over him and walked by.  Then he said, "Dad, you know what!"  I answered, "what." He said, "I'm starting to like you!"

Spit

When Warren Jon was preparing to receive the Aaronic priesthood we were both asked to give a talk at the Priesthood Preview for the Stake. My topic was “How I prepared my son to receive the Priesthood.” I worked hard to prepare that talk, but not matter what I prepared, it just didn’t seem right. So as I was dressing for the meeting I knelt by my bed and said a prayer for help and inspiration. When I finished... standing beside me was our 9 year old Spencer. He asked what was I doing and I explained about the talk and that I was praying for Heavenly Father to help me. So since he was right there I felt inspired to ask him what he knew about the priesthood. He proceeded to tell me about what the priesthood was and how important it is and what an honor it is to hold it. I was impressed that a 9 year-old knew so much, so I asked him where he had learned all that. He answered, “From Mom!” now this really deflated me, her I was supposed to give a talk on how I prepared my sons for the priesthood and everything they knew was taught to them by their Mother. Feeling pretty down I went upstairs to talk to Joyce who as usual was at the sink doing dishes. I explained why I was depressed and she tried to console me by telling me I had taught the boys a lot by my example. She said they had watched me as I magnified my priesthood by administering to the sick, and fulfilling my other responsibilities. By watching me they learned and therefore I was preparing them. Now normally I wouldn’t have bought this, but I only had 20 minutes until the meeting started and at this point I could use any encouragement. So I went back down stairs to finish dressing and there was Spencer again. I thought I should take this opportunity to test Joyce’s theory. So I asked him, “Spencer what have you learned from me by just watching me.” He thought for a second and then with a smile replied, “How to spit!” Not the answer I expected but it sure made a great talk.

Heavenly Father's Day

Years ago I decided I would enter a golf tournament, but there was a slight problem...It was a two-day tournament and that meant playing on Sunday which I didn't do. But I rationalized and told myself if I played badly Saturday I would withdraw and wouldn't play on Sunday. As luck would have I played great and was in second place with a great chance to win on Sunday. I arrived home excited about the chance to win the next day. Unfortunately Joyce didn't have the same enthusiasm I did. I told her I was going to head to the driving range to practice for tomorrow. Her only comment was take Warren with you. Well Warren was 3 1/2 years old and I didn't see a problem with that, I just brought a little golf club for him to hit some balls. And everything went great, I practiced and little Warren pounded golf balls with his little club. On the way home he said, "Dad that was fun can we do that again?" I said sure we can do that again. He replied, "Can we go tomorrow?" I said, "We can't play golf tomorrow because it's Sunday." Warren then asked, "Why can't we play on Sunday?" I replied, "That is Heavenly Father's Day." Warren thought for a second and then asked, "Only Heavenly Father can golf on Sunday? I then had to explain to him about keeping the Sabbath Day holy. Needless to say I didn't play golf the next or ever again on Sunday

She's Hott!

My grandson Maxwell  and I were having lunch at his school as part of a "Grandparents Day" activity.  As we sat on the grass eating our pizza he pointed to a cute blonde about 30 feet away and said, "Grandpa do you see that blonde girl over there?"  I  answered, "yes." He then said, "She's hott!" That caught me by surprise coming from my 6 year old grandson so I only answered, "Oh!" Then he looked at me and said,            "but not your kind of HOT Grandpa."